echo beach – martha & the muffins

The WorldWideWeb and social media are arguably the greatest technological breakthrough since television – and what have we used it for? Splitting into tribes like apes armed with sticks. In days gone by, people felt unique and, to an extent, isolated. People who grew up in small towns moved as soon as they could, to […]

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back from the dead – the adverts

I was surprised to discover that two years had gone by since I last posted on this blog. Real life can ambush you sometimes, can’t it? Enough people have commented on the celebrity deaths that smeared themselves over 2016 like a corpse in a Derek Raymond novel. Bowie’s being the worst, followed by Alan Vega’s. […]

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p.i.g.s.w.i.l.l – scraping foetus off the wheel

Puerile middle-aged adolescent that I am, I have thoroughly enjoyed #Piggate. Of course, without forgetting that it’s hardly the worst abuse Kermit Hameron and his chums have been party to. I’ve been saying for months that there’s something fishy about the whole Westminster paedophile ring soap opera. Why on earth is there so many of […]

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things can only get better – d:ream

I’m writing this on Friday – that’s last week to you. The Labour leadership results will have been announced over twenty-four hours ago. At present, nobody (apart from Burnham, Cooper, Kendal, Cameron, Osborne and the like) are predicting anything other than a Corbyn landslide. Of course, for the great unhosed – and particularly in Scotland […]

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very friendly – throbbing gristle

Things have gone awfully quiet of late on the Yewtree/Fernbridge front. Which is, I suppose, part and parcel of a media traditionally protecting the corrupt establishment they’re part of. Even the hacks who aren’t themselves fucking kids know which side their bread’s buttered. Forty years ago was a whole nother country. The word ‘rape’ was […]

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Pickles set to release rap-aerobics CD

Sir Eric Pickles, the Mountain that rides, announced last night that he’s to commemorate his recent knighthood with a rap-aerobics CD, released tomorrow. “Sir Eric Pickles – a leaner, fitter Britain” features the former MP for Brentwood and Ongar rapping his way through fourteen slices of slammin’ urban jive-fodder, backed by several leading figures from […]

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Naval comedian, William McNeilly ‘game for a laugh’, say MOD.

Jolly Jack Tar William McNeilly was back in the bosom of the Royal Navy after a prank that caught the whole country on the hop, said a source in the Ministry of Defence. McNeilly, who conned the whole world with his claims that Britain’s nuclear submarines weren’t fit for purpose, was last night laughing about […]

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Theresa May to ‘bring back ISIS-ish values’

Newly resurrected Home Secretary Theresa May yesterday announced that the coming five years would see a return to ISIS-ish values. Speaking at the opening of Mogadan, the Conservatives’ annual celebration of all things dogmatic and slow-witted, she told reporters and a wailing horde of the faithful that her department hoped to introduce tying people to […]

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Ukip set to release ‘english rose’ scent

In another attempt to woo voters with limited education, the United Kingdom Independence Party are to make available a new fragrance for white women. ‘English Rose, the scent of scapegoating’, will be pitched at ‘the modern woman who enjoys a carefree life and blaming others for her own inadequacies’ and will smell ‘a bit like […]

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Celebrities endorse repeal of hunting ban

Prime minister David Cameron today said he was overjoyed at the latest celebrities to back his plan to repeal the ban on hunting. Speaking to an audience of sexually stunted sadists this afternoon, The Prime Minister said that this showed the entire country was behind him. In a massive boost to the campaign, celebrities have […]

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