There were tears of joy, hugs and a certain amount of whistling today as former First Minister to be Jim Murphy put down his weapon and gave himself up to police. Late this morning, Murphy’s voice could be heard, delivering the same rambling lecture that had started last Friday when he learned that he’d been ousted as MP for Renfrewshire East by almost four thousand votes.
A police spokesman said that Murphy stopped talking, then a figure appeared in one of the bay windows of the property, holding a plastic bag to his face.
Murphy then opened the door. He had soiled himself and kept repeating, “it’s gone, it’s all over.” police freed Murphy’s wife and their nineteen children who are recovering from their ordeal at an undisclosed Nando’s.

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