David Cameron, cheered on by supporters, today made it clear that his government will reintroduce hunt-the-cunt, “wherever there are communities of sportsmen, ready and able to lend a hand.

The British people,” he told them. “Have had enough of the politically correct, hell bent on eroding our freedoms.”

“Take a beautiful spring morning, the smell of freshly cut grass in the air. One cunt, pursued by twenty or more drunken bastards, for as long as it takes to track them down and kick them senseless. Well, if that isn’t democracy in action, then I’m a Nazi general!

This has so many benefits for the wider community,” he continued, rolling up his sleeves. “We all need a bit more exercise and this is a great way for the whole family to come together with friends and neighbours, victimising strangers and funny-looking people.”

A spokesperson from the Hunt-the-Cunt Saboteurs Association told us that they would “make the hunts unworkable” and that they would be “sticking together in crowds of fifty or more for the foreseeable future,” if this becomes law.

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