Jim Murphy, the horribly disfigured last survivor of Scottish Labour, vowed yesterday that he would have his revenge on the human race.
Speaking this morning from a destroyed chamber in the bowels of his ruined castle, Murphy promised “a tsunami of nightmares that would make every drop of blood on Earth run cold.”
Critics have pointed out that only a week ago, Murphy was promising “a Labour majority, the like of which, the world had never seen”.