An anonymous spokesperson for the Royal Society for the Protection of Ridiculous Organisms claims that Scottish Labour may well be extinct in the next couple of years.
Although one small specimen had been sighted in southern Edinburgh last week, the cock, known affectionately as ‘Jim Murphy’ has not been seen in days.
Scientists across the UK have been considering the possibility that the entire genus may be on the edge of extinction, due to shrinking of their traditional expenses fields, where they come to feed and being picked off by natural predators.
Since 2010, not a single Scottish Labour breeding pair has successfully mated.