haters gonna hate – even the shit i be proud of, yeah?


February 2015

fade to grey – visage

So, the film of ‘fifty sheds of shite’ is now with us. Early reports indicate that groups of pissed-up women are attending showings of the film and generally acting like embarrassed schoolgirls.

In Glasgow, to celebrate a Valentine’s Day showing of the alleged film, three inebriated women attacked a male who’d asked them to keep it down so that he and his partner could watch it.

According to the media, couples are going to see it and in some cases it’s broadening and expanding their love lives. Presumably the sort of couples who’d been blissfully unaware of BDSM until they saw the film.

Of course, if you’re one of the people inspired to experiment in the bedroom, it’s important that you remember that SADO-MASOCHISTIC SEX IS ILLEGAL IN THE UK. Yep, that’s right. Ever since March 10th, 1993, when the spanner trial ended, a mark that lasts til morning is verboten and can have you sent to the naughty step. And, the presiding judge did say, “this is not a witch-hunt against homosexuals; if heterosexuals or bisexuals were in this court today, they would be treated in the same manner.” So there.

Of course, BDSM becomes fashionable every few years. Or, at least, tight shiny clothes do. So for the next few months, all sorts of people are going to be claiming that they’re really into BDSM and always have been (although they’ll probably call it ‘S&M’, because that Rhianna song, yeah?)

I thought for a while that the sales of the book would be a positive. Although most males start out either submissive or dominant and stay put, many women start as sub and later, discover their dominant side. I thought that some women would try out BDSM, like it and then realise there were benefits in Female-Led Relationships – or at least in never having to give another blow-job for as long as they lived.

I don’t know why I keep over-estimating the human race. I’m invariably disappointed. This film – just like the book – will do about as much to disseminate understanding of power exchange relationships as Fred West did for childcare.


a little rain – tom waits

After last month’s read through of ‘Person Hair’ on my tablet (thank you Calibre!) I’ve been able to get started on editing it. Again, I’m using Aldiko on my tablet and forcing in notes where I need to make changes, anything from a wrNog word to an entire section that needs gutted and rewritten from scratch. I reckon I can complete the revision in about four weeks, give or take.
I was between units at work the other day. I had a three hour break and went to a cafe I know to eat solids and work on this. It was crowded and I found myself under the television, vomiting quiz shows over me. If anything, I was distracted and probably missed a few bits of the scenes I was reading through.
So I moved to a nearby boozer and was able to concentrate a bit better there.
This morning, I read that there’s a perfect level of ambiance that fosters creativity. Seventy decibels is the perfect level.
Too loud and it’s distracting, too quiet and it allows the mind to wander.
I’m writing this to the sound of an app that simulates rainfall – at user-defined intensity and with an ebb and flow of volume and a setting for how often the listener wants thunder to rumble.there’s also one that simulates the sounds of a cafe.
Traditionally, I write to music. Old school industrial, power romance, orchestral, anything without audible vocals. I find voices spewing words distracts from the words I’m wringing out of my own head. Distorted beyond all recognition’s fine, though. Which brings us back to that fucking quiz show the other afternoon – try as I might, I just couldn’t stop myself answering their damned questions!
I haven’t bothered naming this product. I’m probably going to write the whole of April’s NaNo to it – or something very like it – and after they’ve had that particular road test, I’ll let you know how they bear up. Certainly, I’ve written the first – and second – drafts of this entry to the rainfall and it’s coming pretty quickly.

hello there – foetus

I’m feeling a bit stronger although I still can’t push myself too hard without crashing all over again. I get good days and bad days. I’m trying to force myself to sleep eight, nine hours a night, which I’m finding difficult. The main problem is, as soon as my eyes open, my brain kicks in and BANG! I’m wide awake and looking for mischief to get up to. Not great when a small percentage of said brain is clamouring for me to shut down all that in-skull Czech animation at fast forward speed!

So I’m doing as much as I can in between work, personal hygiene and attempting to interact with my fellow man.

I discovered this morning that there’s a Bollywood film called ‘Ladies and gentleman’, released in 2013. For a horrible moment, I thought I was going to have to rename the book I’m about to publish – after all, the first on-screen Bollywood kiss had to be filmed in Switzerland to avoid outrage. I hardly think the people whose labour of love I’ve coincided with will be delighted to be associated with some weirdo’s bizarro-ass novel that consists mainly of pie-eating, fucking and all the pursuit that that entails!

Anyhoo, I’ve created a faceboak page for the book:

Hopefully, it can harvest ‘likes’ and the book’ll make a bigger splash when it comes out. Then I can get my nose to the grindstone and finish polishing August’s novel while planning and executing April’s NaNoWriMo, which I’m still researching for at present. It’s coming together, though. I’ve got my setting and half a dozen characters. I just wish I had time to drop some acid and come up with a suitably ridiculous plot! As Hemmingway said, “write drunk, edit sober”…

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